DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Trying to break out of the expectations of others and find your happiness.

We tell fairy tales and nursery rhymes to children. We tell them about princesses and heroic knights who save the day.  We believe that this will help them build confidence and believe that they can accomplish grand feats and save the day. We call children sweet pet names. We tell them they can grow up to be anything that they can dream, even if the dream is a ninja turtle who drives a trash truck. My own son has told people since he was 4, that he was going to be a firefighter and a paleontologist. I guess he likes the idea of being both heroic and historic. He prefers to avoid things that are "beneath" the needs and intelligence of a paleontologist. "Momma, I won't need to learn to use wrenches. They don't need them. " I even tried to explain he would have his own home and what would he do if something broke. In the calmest voice of self assurance, "I'll hire someone."

 Then somewhere around teenage years we start to limit them. Somewhere in there, we begin to twist and turn other people’s dreams into “attainable" ideas. As if we can force other people’s lives into little boxes like play doh. The saddest part of the squishing of the dreams like play doh is that we often are successful.

 Why do we feel that big dreams and happiness have to be unlocked in the methods that we have  experienced ? Why do we stifle each other ? We spend the first 1/3 of a person’s life growing and cheering them one. "You can do anything that you want!" Why do we then spend the next 1/3 trying to shape, mold, and squeeze out the “silly childhood" notions. We say it's to  "get them ready for big jobs, college, and schooling." We pity and shun people who we deem “failing" based on the restraints that we force on them. God forbid they haven’t followed the pre-set path towards the universe's idea of enlightenment. Got pregnant as a teenager ? That’s it - your life is ruined . You will never achieve anything worthy of praise or real love unless it’s from the tiny human that you grow yourself. Decided to get married young? Clearly you will fail and never succeed. Skipped college and joined the military? Whelp, clearly you are only a stupid brute who doesn't have intelligence enough to get into college.  Those are the biased things said to, about, and in the faces of people who dare to defy the socially accepted ideas of how to be happy. Sorry you got pregnant without a plan - guess you are destined to live a sad & lonely life with no sense of happiness. Your moved across the country without a back up plan and without a safety net? You're gonna end up alone and broke.

But what about happy. Why don't we think about what makes us happy?

Happy.

Happy is a loaded word. According to Websters dictionary, the definition of happy 1. favored by luck or fortune, well adapted, enjoying or characterized by well being and contentment, expressing or reflecting happiness, glad or pleased... etc

 Never once did it say anything about following the path set by other people. Never once did I read that the paths as predetermined by other people would automatically lead towards happiness. Never in that description does it say that your happiness and future are at the end of a single path and if you fall off the path or take a detour will you remain forever sad and broken.

Some of us can't see the "easy way." Some of use are not built for just following the path that is well worn and made by others. Some of us stand at the fork in the road and look and know that we have to take the "road less traveled."

I have previously tried to live life the way that other people told me was best. I tried to be the person that everyone else told me to be. I tried to stifle myself and be less me to fit into the black and white check mark boxes of what I was supposed to do.

Find a partner. check . Spend one year with them before getting engaged. check. Plan a wedding. check... etc etc.

As it so turns out- you can not force people to be who they are not-- at least not for forever. You can limit what they wear. You can try and force your heart into places that someone else's ideas for only so long and then the box that you've forced yourself into- it's sooo crammed full- it breaks.And once the box breaks and all the things that you tried to push away to be "happy" slip out...

and who you are escapes ...

you have to make the choice...

allow others to dictate who you are and limit yourself and your potential...

 or be fully you.

 Not everyone has to take the easy path.

Some of us can only see the path of wild and adventure.

Stop allowing other people to dictate what is right for you.

 Stop staying with people who don't fully bring out love and happiness for you.

Stop allowing someone else's love to force you into a place you don't like. Stop feeling guilty when you don't love someone. Stop giving time to people who don't respect you. Stop allowing people around you that don't make you feel safe and happy.

Figure out what you need to be happy and do it with intention.

Find your happiness.

 I've found mine but took a lot of broken and heartbreak to stop trying to fit myself into a mold of who I was not.

 "I saw two roads..."

"... I took the one less traveled. "