Ask.

Something I have learned in life and teaching is the importance of being "asked."


Women want to be ASKed to get married.
Teenagers want to be ASKed to prom.
People in general need to be ASKed how they are in order to feel appreciated and important.


You wouldn't think that something as simple as asking would be that important. But the truth of the matter is that it's a little thing that is a HUGE thing.


When women get asked to get married it's not really the ring that matters. Shallow people will argue with me, but they're shallow. Any way... It's the fact that someone else puts them in a special place in their heart and wants to ASK them. The idea that a man will publically or privately ask a woman to share all his successes and failures not knowing what might bring... that's big. I personally am a fan of on bended knee... but have never had the joy of such a thing. It's fun to make plans as a couple but until their is an "ASK" you are just daydreaming and making plans "if." Once the ASK has taken place then the plans become real and gain substance.


People who feel they are alone want to be asked if they are okay. It helps prevent depression when they know someone else cares about their well being. The fact they are in fact a thought that crosses another human's brain. Their life matters. Many suicides have been prevented by someone asking the other person if they were alright or if they needed help. People need to know that they matter.


I ask my students about their weekend...
their lives... their parents... their new hair cuts...
what they want out of life...
I ask and ask
and ask some more.


Because the thought that that my ASKing could help or prevent them from feeling alone and might help them KNOW I care helps me feel better. Makes me feel like I matter too. Ironic how that works. Unfortunately, it's not enough for me to ask others if they are okay and have them tell me about their hobbies. I need people too. It's how I am built. In fact, I am pretty needy in general. I need to be needed. I love taking care of others and choose to be in a profession where I am. But, my neediness also needs to be asked about too.


I try to make a conscious effort to ask the darlings I share my home with about their day, their hobbies, what went wrong, what went right, what they are looking forward to in the next week, month etc. I hope by me doing this with my sweet munchkin he will do the same with his future babies ( far off future as he is only 5) and how that I am building a bedrock of care and ASKing in his future family.


To say it's been a rough year for me is an understatement the same way the Grand Canyon  is a hole in the ground. I am trying to shake off my heaviness and still care for others.
But sometimes... I need to be asked too.


Hug the ones you love and ASK them about THEM.