You don't matter...

"YOU don't matter . You are a cog in the system.  "

In the grand scheme of things , I am merely a mass of carbon that occupies less than 10 meters of space . And it's true that my combination of my parents genetics is very unique...

In fact, I'd probably tell you some lovely story about how my parents were high school sweethearts, how my grandpa thought my dad was a wild one who drove  too fast ( he was ), and how my momma was a nerd (she was),  and how my dad drove from his college to my moms college on Valentine's to bring her an engagement ring , and how they got married super young , how they got married on St. Patrick's Day because it was during spring break so they only got to be "weekend married " until the semester was up, and how my dad wanted 15 kids and my momma didn't want ANY, and they waited for 9 years to have me .

The truth of the matter is that - I am ONE person .  You are ONE person.

Even if you procreate and create and create and create until you have enough kids to make a football team, you are still ONE person .

And many people will tell you -
YOU don't matter . You are a cog in the system.  Your life is as insignificant as a leaf crunched beneath the foot of one of those football players I previously mentioned . <crunch>

But the question has to be asked,  "Is that true ?"

Do YOU matter ?

Some people might argue it on a chemical reaction level. They could discuss how you are a carbon based life form and you are apart of a food chain ... Blah blah blah.

Some might discuss how the whole world is connected on a unspoken and interwoven level . Touchy feely stuff . This might make you feel good enough to make choices that change society or even just the people are you .

Others might argue that your dharma is predisposed and you have no control other than the karma that you create .

I'd like to think that maybe it's somewhere in the stew bowl of all of those . Maybe I am destined to do something . Possibly due to my being connected to the rest of humanity , and the science of all living things , but here is the big, Big, BIG thing ...

You make choices .
Do you choose to help others ? Honestly, it's not about you if you do. Technically, then you don't matter. Technically you help others to HELP them.

Do you love and care for your friends, family , and/ or tribe ? Sometimes my love for my tribe is tough love and I care that they stop making choices that do not help themselves . Therefor reinforcing that I do not matter . I may want them to make better choices. I may want them to be loved . However, they must choose their path because I don't actually matter in their equation .

Why do teachers teach ? Do they teach  to make themselves better ? Do they share their knowledge or tools to feel better about themselves ? Spend an hour in a room full of teenagers and ask me if I teach for the "feelings." The thing is,  I teach because I believe that these unpolished humans are going to change the world . I don't matter . I don't teach for me . I teach in hopes that they will build and create . I teach them poetry so that when they find love maybe they will think "She Walks in Beauty " is the perfect way to explain to their lady love how the feel when they saw her from across the room . Maybe my encouragement will be the echo to "rage rage against the dying of the night !"

I teach for that moment years ago when a mom stopped me in Target to tell me her son had spent the previous year suffering badly from depression .  I teach because she tells me that he struggled with thoughts of suicide but he didn't want to let me down ... I don't actually matter . I will tell you that I sat in the cookie aisle at Target that summer day and cried . I bawled loudly and embarrassingly gross . I'm pretty sure that I had snot smeared on my face . I more than likely looked like some B movie prom queen who had overcome adversity to win the crown and kiss her best friend after they placed a cheap plastic rhinestone tiara on her head .
But ... I don't actually matter .

What matters is that he survived . How he lives his live and if he becomes a pilot or a dad who goes to every soccer game his kids plays in ... It all doesn't matter .

Why do you love people ? Is it about you or them ?
Why do you take care of people who need care ?
Your choices effect others . That's what actually matters .
You are a mass of carbon who doesn't matter .