Impatience and being an ADULT

I am impatient.

I want things to work.

I want answers and instant perfection.

The problem with this, is that people are not perfect. They are fallible and have free will. And I love the idea that people can choose their path and have the right to make mistakes and learn from them...  but I hate it when mistakes are made. Maybe I just love the idea that I CAN learn from my mistakes.In fact, maybe I might even be a bit of a narcissistic that I think that my mistakes are smaller and less ugly than other peoples. But that isn't the truth. I am fallible and stubborn and opinionated as deep as the ocean and as blue as the twilight.

I am most impatient with the people I love most. I am the biggest advocate for me being allowed to make mistakes and often want people to forgive me instantly; however, I struggle with grudges. I struggle with wanting people to do what I want on my timing. Maybe I've watched too many movies and I am  too much of an idealist. Maybe I have been burned too many times and think that I "deserve" it.  I think that I am the most hard on people I love because I believe that they are genuinely the people that I see them in. I see the people they want to be. I see the people that they should be. I  think maybe I am too hard on people and need to allow them room to make mistakes.

Mistakes aren't the problem with being infallible. Mistakes are a big part of growing. As kids, we learn from making mistakes. Kids learn the word, "feet," and want to apply it like everything else and will tell you that they have " two feets." They understand the rule that foot/feet are unusual and want soo badly to be reinforced that they overly try and use "feets." We as adults think that we have out grown this.

The truth of the matter is, even as adults we seek approval and want to make others happy even when we do not have all the answers. We get impatient. We think we have all the answers. We are not uneducated as was the case of the little kids; we are still seeking approval. The problem is that we don't understand the rules of how to be "adults."

I wish I knew all the rules about how to be an adult. Unfortunately, being an adult is like every word that is atypical in the English language. Adulthood is every one of the mice/mouse, foot/feet, moose/moose, good/better/best atypical no normal rule to follow words that make learning language harder.... except then we add emotions, bills, and other people who are also trying to speak to us using the same faulty system of no typical words.

Stir that up... add humanity and impatience and it's no wonder we grow up and feel lost. It's no wonder adults struggle with communication. We seek approval . We strive for perfection but our communication is confusing. We are not all taught how to interact the same. Some families are affection and teach a language and behavior of affection. While others are successful and teach their children the value of success. No one way is right or wrong. I believe that kids need a good work ethic and a desire to be successful. I also am very comfortable and feel a high need for affection; both give and receive. I get impatient when people do not communicate with me in ways that I am used to  and I am an adult. I am ONE adult. And I struggle greatly with these concepts.

It's no wonder that communication is hard.

It's no wonder that being impatient with others is a knee jerk reaction...

We are all trying to accomplish the goals we believe to be best while speaking an imperfect language with other people who speak imperfectly and are also fallible.

And I get impatient and fussy when things are not going smoothly. It is NOT that I do not care about the other people. It's rather the polar opposite. I care soo much that I want things FIXED, NOW.

I am impatient,

I do want things to work.

But maybe instead of wanting perfection, I need to look for growth.
And maybe instead of just finding the mythical "answers," maybe I need to really know what my questions are.

I need to open my heart and focus on the person and less on the answers.
I need to open my close mind and figure out that two steps forward, one step back isn't a set back but is still forward momentum....

Here's to forward momentum and the death of impatience.