Timing is everything....

It turns out that the rest of the world is not  on the same internal schedule as I am.

I have no sense of time. I require very small amounts of sleep and still maintain a very happy outlook.

I think of it as simply enjoying as much of my life as possible. I  fully embrace the fact that every  life is short and terminal and no one can escape this factor. I want to absorb so much of life and love that I would sacrifice sleep for them. My phone is always beside my bed, the ringer is always on, and I ALWAYS answer... Happily in fact. My texts come through.. however; I have only a few people whose texts actually make sounds and wake me up.A few people I love and adore, a new mommy who might need to ramble or cry, a new friend who works crazy hours,etc.

The funny thing is that I am even more open minded  after about 12:30...
I also have learned a lot about me by answering my phone after 12:30. I am more honest at that time of the morning. I think it has something to do with the fact that I am not thinking about editing what I want, think, feel, or desire.  I just follow my heart. I go with my instincts. Luckily for me, the few people who speak to me then are people that I would trust my life with. Which is good, as some of the things I will confess or say then... the kinds of things that can lead to being judged.

I have had deep conversations about
where I hope to be in 5 years... ( happy)
what I want out of life... (peace)
whether or not I regret anything...( I don't . EVERYTHING happens for a reason)
what I want in my love..(commitment  and to never doubt him)
what I expect from others (honesty)
what I have to give (devotion)

Anyway back to timing. I have no sense of time. I can get involved in doing something, especially art or writing related and completely lose track. It happens mainly early in the morning or in the latest of late hours before the moon sneaks off. I prefer these hours. I like the simplicity of them. I thrive on the idea that I might be the one person up in my house ( or even my neighborhood) enjoying this time before the chaos and calamity of the day. I love being able to look and see the stars and think that no one else is enjoying their beauty. For some reason it makes me feel spoiled.

I suspect the reason I like to talk, write, clean, or just be up is because I feel the most me. As I previously mentioned before, I lack what little filter I have at these hours. I am unedited and raw and the most 'me'. Add to the unedited-ness to the fact that when I am on the phone.. computer... texting etc the distance of not being face to face makes everything feel more secure and less transparent. And on the times when I was blessed to be face to face chatting with people and metaphorically bearing it all, I don't turn on all the lights to add the same "safe" distance. There is just something so scary about telling someone anything serious face to face with all the lights on.

I don't love to clean my house... unless it's after 10:30.. and then I must be shimmying to music. I dunno why. Prolly too many years of cleaning house with my momma as the " rosy fingers of dawn" crept over the horizon listening the Mommas and Poppas or Neil Sedaka.  I loved Neil Sedaka as a kid... but it was because I was biased. How can anyone not love an 8 track that nearly every song has your name in it? :)

I love shopping at Walmart in the wee hours so that there are less people, not necessarily less crazy.. but less of them. Laying in the truck bed at just talking so much better at weird hours than in the afternoon. I wish I understood my crazy fascination with odd hours, but I do not. Maybe my own personal oddity feels at ease with the oddity of it. I dunno.

Al I know is that timing when if comes to the day, and in life, makes all the difference.