Recently I have noticed that people are using the label "girl" as an insult. But I have been thinking about what it means to me to be female. Yes, there is the obvious I have boobs etc. But it's more than that. There are things that I think women are/should be...
1. They should be able to be feminine.
I believe that women should be held to a set of standards. In fact, I am a bit sexist in nature. I believe that women should never go out in public without painting their toenails. I think it makes us ladies look more feminine. I could care less about whether or not a girls fingernails are painted, probably because I have a hard time maintaining lovely nails without chipping them while I am super mom or teaching. (as a rule, you should assume my standards are often double...)
2. We like being treated like girls.
Women are not the same as men. I don't want to be treated like a man. I want better. Yes, I can change a tire and have on occasion have changed the oil in my car. My theory is, I don't want to. I want to be treated like a girl and taken care of. I want someone to open the jar of pickles for me. I think I deserve to have doors opened for me... no matter where I go. I don't mean just when I am out and about with someone I am in a relationship with, I mean I walk into Dillards and some guy is nearish me he should hold the door for me. The age of the man is non-important... I usually think that if the male is between the ages of 10 and 80ish... He opens the door. (Curtches and walkers I'll give you a break. ) I don't need the crazy lay your jacket down in the mud kinda treatment. Just a little bit of pampering.
3. A girl sometimes needs to put her hair up, and have fun.
I am a girl. I don't burp, fart, pick my nose, or scratch things in public. I shave my legs. I wear makeup. I act like a lady. I am not prissy. I won't melt in the rain. In fact, a little dancing in the rain and enjoying the moment makes me stupid happy. It's worth the makeup that will run down my face and the fact that I will be freezing my butt off after the fact because I don't make body heat on my own. I'm perfectly happy snuggling extra close to steal the body heat of my man; if he isn't willing to share, don't let me get cold. I won't put my cold feet on him in bed, I wear socks because I think it's mean to do that. Sometimes I need to put my hair in a pony tail and do outdoors-y things or shoot a gun or whatever. BUT I don't have to look like a "dude" while I do it. I can shoot a gun and look cute in my makeup while doing it. I don't feel like any less of a woman without makeup, but have discovered that I prefer myself with mascara. I like the way I feel more powerful. It's not about how others view me, it's about what I like.
4. Our strength is measured differently.
Women are not strong like men; at least not in the same ways. I will never attempt to move a refrigerator. A lot of women are mentally strong in ways that I don't think people would believe. We grow humans with our bodies knowing it will hurt, knowing that they will grow up and hate us ( hopefully only temporarily), knowing that our children have the ability to hurt us both intentionally and unintentionally... and yet.. we make babies. We are often externally weaker than men. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We let people see us cry. I don't see us allowing our "weakness" to show as a true vulnerability. I see it was a strength. It takes a very strong person to allow themselves to be broken and be built back up again.
5. We are fond of double standards.
We women are different critters indeed. We are often very fond of double standards. (Gawd knows I already admitted my weakness for them). Women often demand equality; but then when it comes time to be given the equality some women don't want to uphold their end of the bargain. They want equal pay and equal hours and equal rights. But then when a child gets sick they assume people will overlook it because they can't help it because of their offspring. Yes... My son is my greatest accomplishment in my whole life; but I don't use him as an excuse. As a single momma there is no luxury of having someone else to pick up the slack. If I need to pay bills or do something it is my responsibility to take care of it. I understand that if I miss work, and I miss hours, the paycheck will reflect that. It seems some women have missed this important factor of the working force. I want to be held when I cry but also feel like it has to be when I want to be held...
6.Logic doesn't seem to be our first reaction.
I have noticed that (myself included) many women do not automatically respond to situations with black and white instant answers. I think it might have something to do with the fact that we have maternal instincts and often have to consider the needs of those we give birth to... or our spouses...significant others etc. I don't have to be logical. In fact, I am often emotionally reactionary. I often have to apologize for my reaction. I don't like it... But it's the way I am..
( to be continued...)
