Screw OCD... I have dishes in my sink!

I am impulsive and disorganized in so many ways that it makes all the OCD people I love and cherish crazy. It's not that I can not be organized. Its actually a lot more simple than that.




 I do not have a natural drive to organize. I have a natural pursuit of memories of moments. I have a yearning to create a solid life. You see,  I am the only child of a father who died young. But it's not that I am trying hard to make sure I live as much as I can just in case something happens to me. Its that I fully understand that I get ONE life. I get ONE chance to make enough memories to fill my head when I am too old to make more. I get ONE time to teach my son how to love, how to fight, and how to believe the that perfection can not be achieved, but happy can be.




My dad always believed that he would die young. He didn't fear it, for him it was just a fact that he had in his head. Because of this belief he made sure he had life insurance and savings and everything taken care of. He understand that life is precious. He understood that anything that prevents someone from LIVING is not good.




Because I am a follower of LIVING life and not just participating in it, I sometimes have dishes that sit in my sink over 24 hours. I occasionally have to turn my dryer on and let it "iron" the wrinkles out of my t-shirts and jeans. I want my son to remember the cuddling on the couch, me saying  prayers with him before kissing him goodnight. I want him to hear me each and every one of the 1,001 times I tell him " I love you," in a day. I have 4,000, 2,000, and 103 pictures in my previous phones ( in that order) because I like to hold on to memories like air. I think that pictures help keep the moments alive. If you have ever been to my house (or in my classroom) you will notice that I have TON of pictures everywhere. If you are friend or family, please feel free to send me more. I will buy more frames.


What if some day I am cursed with Alzheimer's and begin to forget? Maybe the millions of pictures will be my memories, maybe the pictures will serve as a reminder to the care takers that I am a person and not just flesh and clay and air, maybe the pictures will be the bridge that connects my past to my present.




I'd rather die with dishes in my sink and a 1,000 pictures on my wall.

Maybe it's time for another baby...

" YOU should have sex..."


This is the first thing MY brain hears when someone asks how many kids I have and how old my munchkin is. Then they follow up with  a "MAYyyybbeee it's time for another one..." they often wink and follow it with, " maybe a girl this time."

First of all, truly in my head when someone tells me it's 'time' to have kids I literally feel like it's them telling me they approve of me having sex. And it's kinda awkward. Personally I don't feel comfortable telling or asking other people about their sex life. Because who you kiss and whether or not you chose to spend tons of money on a person you created is NONE of my business.

Also, my second thought is how terrible it must feel for people who WANT babies and children but can not have them. And that is also not a stranger's business. A person's struggle with infertility is often a very traumatic and personal battle. Truly my heart breaks for all the want to be mommies who haven't had babies. Your heart is soo full and you want your arms to look like it too. I don't think I would be able to be tactful to people. I might be rude and tell them that my kitty was broken or that the plumbing was internally off kilter.. I dunno really.


Also, like I have any control of what genitalia appears on my child. Go back to science.


I absolutely adore my son. He truly is the greatest choice I ever made. I was INCREDIBLY blessed to get pregnant easily with him. I have personally watched some of my friends and family members suffer from fertility issues and I just wanted to offer them my uterus ( And honestly, I did once.)


I also would like to have more children. I want another human that is the outpouring of my love for handsome dimpled husband and I. I want another person to add to my family tree. Whether or not we are ready and whether or not our life station is ready to receive such a miracle is none of the rest of the world's business until we decide and are blessed with such a monumentous blessing.


It doesn't bother me when my family, very close friends, and/or mom-in-law asks... because when they ask they are asking if we are planning on making a person that is apart of their family too. They are requesting another person to love and help be apart of that person's life.


However, random stranger on the street... Unless you are planning on discussing financially helping to support another human, my sex life, and whether or not there is a "goalie on the ice" in my uterus is non of you business.


You can smile and tell me what a beautiful family we have.