Tonight my sweet munchkin and I went to McDonalds to have an ice cream and let him use the play place to exert some excessive "I didn't have school today " energy and interact with other kids..(drawback of being an only child)...
Anyway...
Shortly after we arrived a group of three larger and aggressive little boys arrived. They began to kick and pick on my munchkin. I was LESS THAN AMUSED.
I heard J say, "Guys, I'm going to need you to stop kicking at me with your shoes on... etc"
My first instinct was to announce loudly "J, if there is a problem with people not following the rules we can tell the manager" and/or guilt the other children's parents into doing their parental job or scare the other kids into behaving. BUT... I waited.
He wasn't being hurt.
He was still calm.
I continue to pretend not to notice...
As I waited, I hear my sweet nearly 7 year old never once actually raise his voice...but announce with authority and strength that they were done acting that way.
His voice did not waver.
He was sure of himself.
He was calm, cool, and collected.
He also did not have to threaten or bully back.
And I swallowed my insta-reaction of being a helicopter mom. He never even knew that I saw. He never mentioned it. He instead continued on with his calm, cool, and collected demeanor and shift the tides and convince a now even larger group of larger and older kids which games they would be playing.
If I would have stepped in and gone with my first reaction, I would have been wrong.
I would have:
- missed out on a opportunity for my son to take control of a situation
- missed seeing my son exhibit really amazing people skills
- robbed my growing son of his confidence
- undone some of the times I've told him to speak up for himself and be confident
-been that UGLY rude parent who "KNOWS EVEYRTHING"
-been the parent who harasses other peoples kids
But mostly...
I wouldn't have gotten to see what a potentially amazing future man my munchkin is growing into.
He was more responsible and grown up acting than I wanted to act. He exhibited so many of the skills that I want him to be as a man.
And so today...
I will sit and eat my cheap ice cream and let my kid be a leader in a group of larger older kids.
I will let go of some of my fear that because my son is softer spoken and on the small side that he can't handle things.
I will remember that his ability to be "a man" someday starts with all the little things now...
And I will sit near enough to listen but far away enough for him to be exactly the perfect mix of calm and a leader that I hope his future self will be.
