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Tuesday, December 22, 2015

I never trust a boob ...

Two and a half years ago I found a lump in my right breast . I took 6 months to tell my doctor. It was the size of a pea and solid as a marble . It caused me to undergo multiple exams including ultrasounds, mammograms, and an MRI. So far, they say it's just a lump like mashed potatoes that haven't been squished enough. 

Two months ago, I found a much larger lump in my left breast. It came up very fast, and was considerably larger than the first.... To say that I was apprehensive  is a joke . I checked daily for 3 weeks before I made an appt because I know that sometimes changes in hormones/ cycles can fluctuate breast tissue .
It didn't change. 
It didn't go away. 

Went to the Dr anticipating her to scold me for being so emotionally reactive . She didn't. Another trip planned to the Breast Cancer center for more ultrasounds and more mammograms ...
Unfortunately, I had to set it up for the week AFTER finals and the week of Christmas. 

I wait and wait for three weeks, suspicious of every ache, muscle tightness, or spot on my chest. I emotionally eat my way through December... 

I give my momma the date of my appointment and she comes. We chat on the waiting room and annoy other people with our odd banter and bad jokes ... 

Finally we go back and I get topless. 

Funny thing about being topless and nervous ... Even at over thirty, having your momma with you when you are nervous or sick, still helps .

Both the ultrasound tech and the dr. feel me up, take pics, rub this way , and  shift my boob that way.

They compare the pics to the information from two years ago. 

More rubbing... 
More ultrasound boobie pics ...

And they tell me that this lump does not look cancerous or suspicious . They did raise my risk factor numbers up to 18.5.

I won't lie and tell your that I trust my boobs. In fact,  my boobs sorta feel like time bombs on my chest waiting to rip everything about my life apart . 

Given the option, I would probably decide to either scrape them off and exchange them for less threatening ones.

Until they tell me that I can give my boobs the eviction notice, I will continue to do my monthly checks. 

Please remind those that you love to check the ladies . 
Boobs are not your identity . 
You are more than flesh, fat, and nipples .