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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Dearest Gossips, Kiss my snow white...


I am currently struggling with people gossiping and/or "sharing" details about my life.
Don't get me wrong I have a lot of crazy details that people can talk about. I have had a life that is shocking.

I HAVE been married three times.
They don't always know or share that the fact that the  first one he had a girlfriend and told me he wanted OUT or that we tried for 3 years after that to try to make it work. They forget that we were together for nearly 10 years and have a perfect child as a product of the marriage. That I DO NOT bad mouth my son's dad because  I believe that eventually my brilliant child will ask about any of the things I say about his dad and I will have to defend each and every one of them. I also believe that bad mouthing the other parent is in poor taste as the child is HALF of him too.

I have seen the dirty lustful messages between the man I loved and his side women. I have seen the graphic and pornographic pictures of the women on his phone. I have cried my eyes out more times than is rational. I have fought for my family.

They leave out the fact that my second marriage was a disaster. I DID make a mistake. It also nearly cost me literally everything. I had to be let out of my home by the police. I had to file a VPO and change vehicles and the final straw that made me leave wasn't him controlling my fianances, not allowing me to go see my mother,  or what I wore, although he did that too, MY final straw was him getting more and more aggressive and violent and missed hitting me and hit the door etc. It was the thought that I would end up dead if I stayed. I had my bank account cleaned out. Where my ex told people I left because I was a cheating. I had to hold my head high while I scraped for money for food. I had to take my phone and send it to other parts of the city because my ex was able to track my phone. I had to change phone numbers and email. I lost a lot of my things. I literally had to fight my way out of a hole.  But that's the thing.... those are just things.

I am more than things...

I am the girl who forgives. I KNOW how to love. I am the mother who says prayers with my son and cries when he thanks God for me.I am battered and bruised but I am still standing.
I read with my son and ask him questions about his day and go on field trips with him because he is important to me. I am the mother who gave birth to a perfect tan child with jet black curls who  came home from the hospital in 3 month old clothes because he was 9 and a 1/2 lbs and three weeks overdue. I am the woman who believes in hope and happy. I literally have fell down stairs two years ago and broken and shifted my pelvis, broken vertebrae, pulled and pained and still worked every day because my son and I had bills to pay.

I have been cheated on, beat on, shoved, shamed, broken, bruised, and talked about...

I am still standing.
I am not bowing out.
I might be the under dog in this story...
but I am also the hero.

And since my gossipers are talking behind my back...
you are nearer my backside...

You can take your gossip and half truths and misinformed lies...
and kiss my snow white ....