It's Christmas Eve Eve, and it got me to thinking, everyone discusses Mary and her having Jesus. We even have the song, "Mary, Did you know?" However, there are more parents involved in the story than just Mary. How many people have contemplated Joseph's point of view?
Joseph was engaged to Mary. They were planning a life and a future. They were dreaming about how their life would be. Imagine being madly in love with someone and all the plans you make while you are on the cusp of your "forever"... Once you have started dreaming about a future with someone you contemplate if you're a good match. You consider their needs and their role within your life. You mentally dream about if you'll have kids, pets, where you will have a home, how you will share your responsibilities within your home and family.
Then there is a wrench thrown into the mix. Something outside of your control that effects your relationship with your love. "Joseph...your fiancé is pregnant. It is not yours." And an angel comes to you to tell you that you need to stay involved with this woman. You need to continue to love and cherish her. You are to help raise a child that is not your blood. You must parent someone else's child. You are a bystander to this life in some aspects because it is not your child. This child that needs you to help care for and love it. You are in love with a woman who is going to go through pain and agony to birth someone whom you are to responsible for, but can't totally claim as yours.
The thing is, Joseph was thrown into the mix of parenthood. He inherited a child to feed, clothe, discipline, love, and raise as his own... all the while aware that it wasn't his child... and yet, was his child.
Any adult who willingly stepped up and accepted becoming the parent to a child, maybe you understand Joseph's shoes. Co-parents, step parents, bonus parents etc. who help love and guide a child that they do not share DNA with understands that it is very hard to find your place within the child's life. You have to attempt to prove your love for this tiny human. You give of your time, your energy, your heart to someone that you can not help but love and yet, you often stay in the shadows as your aren't "the parent." You hurt when the child hurts. You would fight tigers and bears if need be because this child is family just the same. You scare away bad dreams and bullies. You wash off scraped knees just as any other parent would. You metaphorically carry the weight of this child.
Joseph had to bear the weight of the rumors about Mary. Joseph had to bear the scandal and the pain that Mary did, but he willingly chose to stay beside her. He chose to lead his family. He chose to love and cherish both Mary and Jesus knowing that it would not be an easy life.
Did he "know" how hard it would be to love and raise a child that was and yet wasn't his own when he stayed with Mary? I think he *thought* he knew. But maybe, the answer is far more complicated. Maybe it's like childbirth. We have an idea of how it will be to birth a child. People can tell us what it will entail. We can read books and watch movies about the pain and hardship about it, but until we are in the moment, we don't have a clue. Maybe that is the place were grace and love take over. All the unknowns are washed over with love until we are there in the moment and the only choice we have is love itself.
I think Joseph had an inkling of an idea. I do believe that he knew it would be hard, just as anyone who stepped up to love someone else's child knows it will not be easy. I think that Joseph knew that the child needed him. Let that sink in.... a child who is innocent and helpless needs you. You don't get to walk away from that kind of need. Someone else needs you. Someone who can not thrive without your help, needs you. Joseph did have a choice. He choose love.
We are never ever totally prepared for kids. We are even less prepared to love and care for a child that we never knew we needed in our life.
To all the step parents, co-parents, bonus parents, and people who volunteer to raise children who are not your own, thank you for choosing to love.
No comments:
Post a Comment