Language is powerful. Not always in a big red button of distruction sort of way. The fact that as humanity we can use a simple phrase and change someone else's life.
Ex: "she was my best friend" It's a simple sentence. Depending on your own life and experiences you could have read it very differently .... Who is the she?
-Did she just die ?
-Did something happen to your friendship and you're no longer friends?
-Did you did you read the sentence as if it were yelled because your significant other cheated?
-Did you hear with rainbows & music in the background as a reason to commit your life to hers?
-Was it a threat to someone you think might cause her harm and they need to know the lengths that you would go to hell and back for her?
Another example of the power of simple phrases : "he was my first ..."
-Was he your first baby daddy ?
-Your first customer?
-Your first table that you waited on as a server?
-Was he one night stand?
-Your first love?
-Your first tattoo ?
-Your first sexual experience ?
-Your first heartbreak?
-Your first child ?
-Your first pregnancy ?
We literally completely change the meaning of a single sentence depending on what your life and your experiences. There's a huge difference between spoken word and written word- tone.
What about the phrase, "I'll be waiting." Is it the end of the date so your best friend can rehash everything that happened? To get revenge on someone who is caused you ill? For payment? Are you a mom picking up your kids after school? Are you a significant other waiting on your loved one to return home from duty, from a fire, from a third world country without running water? In the waiting room at the end of a surgery to find out if they're going to survive? Are you waiting for a call back or text back ? Are you someone waiting at the end of runway for someone to get off the plane & he's never coming to see you? Are you waiting for someone to come home? Are you waiting for someone who is never going to come back to you?
We teach kids that words are powerful . We make our children say they are sorry and apologize for their wrong doings. We make them admit they have done something before the apology can make a difference. We teach them that "it's not okay to treat our friends like that." And somewhere between being kids and becoming full fledged adults,we lose sight of that fact that words have power. We stop saying I love you to our friends and only jokingly say it to the barista making coffee at Starbucks. We stop making effort. We don't call our parents as much as we should. We don't tell our siblings that we are proud of their accomplishments.
But the truth is - we do love our families and we are proud of the things our siblings do. We know that even though the words "I'm sorry" doesn't fix the things we mess up - it does open the door for healing. We went our kids to grow up and become happy healthy members of society - but are giving them the tool of language to communicate to others ? Are you telling your friends you enjoy time with them ? Are you communicating that you are struggling and need to vent?
I do not admit that I have problems very easily. If I am willing to admit I have a problem, I TRUST SOMEONE. My ability to admit weakness and failure is even more limited ... but if I don't tell other people when I need help, they may not know I need it .
Admit when you mess up.
Accept weakness- in yourself and others.
Take care of people.
Give people the benefit of doubt when you don't know what they meant
Tell people when they do good.
Care about people.
Stop hiding and let people into your world ....
but mostly ...
say the things that you need to ...
Stop making people read between the lines!
Say what you need. Say what you mean.
Ps:
You matter .
You make my life more entertaining.
Thank you for being there. I'll be here when you need me
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