touch

As defined by Webster's dictionary,
TOUCH: a. to put your hands, fingers, etc on someone or something. b.to be in contact with something. c. to change or move (something)

I am a firm believer that touch changes people; positively and negatively. On a simple basic need, babies need touch and attention to prevent failure to thrive. Parents of preemies and newborns are often encouraged to do "kangaroo care" skin to skin contact to help the baby regulate heart rate and temperature. According to the research,  there are no negative side effects of the skin to skin contact. So why is it that as we grow and become more "enlightened" we stop thinking that we as humans need touch?

Touch can be casual and simple, the walk by, hand on the shoulder of a friend. I walk though the hallways in the high school, and squeeze the forearm of my former  kiddos in the hallway as I walk though the hoards of students. They smile and often say how much they miss me or how much they love me etc. I am quickly and quietly letting them know that I see them. One arm squeeze to acknowledge their presence.

I say all this to explain- touch is a form of love.

Yes, in the obvious love, sex, and rock and roll kinda way.

Yes, in the peace bringing way that happens when you panicked and need someone to hold your hand.

Yes, in the crowded room and someone who cares about you reaches out and touches you- gingerly. In fact, most people in the room might not have even noticed. The touch could have almost been played off as a passing by moment  needed to make one's way through  gesture. However, both side of the touch felt it.

Yes, in the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I physically need someone stronger than me to hold me - the holder encloses the "weak" person, bearing the weight, bearing the pain, bearing the overwhelm, all the chaos and bad things are still there but the tide is held back by this one moment of being hugged and held. There is something life changing about being apart of one of these moments. If you are the one holding- the pain is almost tangible. You feel the other person break. This break allows them to begin to rebuild and find their bearings. Holding in the pain and overwhelm is exhausting. But what most people don't realize is how much strength it takes to hold in the pain. How hard it is to be vulnerable. How much faith and trust you have to put in someone before you can allow yourself to break to that extent.

Research shows that blood pressure is lowered when someone you love touches you. How amazing it is that on an anatomical level your body responds to basic touch. Your health and well-being are literally improved with touch.

I have a student in my 7th hour, each and every day that makes a special effort to come and give me a genuine warm hug every single day before our last hour of the day. I didn't realize how much of an effect it had on me until this last Wednesday. On Wednesday, we met in the computer lab to work on typing our essays. I went to take roll, and realized I had not had my hug from her. My first thought was that she was absent and my heart sank.  Her one single hug in my day recharges my battery.

One single hug missed in the course of my 161 students and I noticed it.

Touch matters.